just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize