I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
