He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
