it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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