I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
