Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
