Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
