never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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