I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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