pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
