she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
