maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
