he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize