Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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