Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Alive.
So much puke
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
