I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
