I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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