I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
