The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
