guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
