I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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