then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Boobs are out for the taking
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
