When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize