Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
