Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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