i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
