And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
