Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
