The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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