I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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