now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
