I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
