tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
