wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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