I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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