his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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