can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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