I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
In America we eat man semen.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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