How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
