so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
