I accidentally burped into my bong.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize