please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
