That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
