Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
