the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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