If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
