I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
babies were throwing up all over the place
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
