I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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