ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize