Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I want to be your penis for a week.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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