I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
