i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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