dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
