Who wears a wallet chain?!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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