Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
