I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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