dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
