with your own penis?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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