the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
