I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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